What you doing with a girl like that?

I decided to write a blog about my experience with Nicole the other day.

So we are sitting on her futon in her spare room, playing Mario Party. Seemed pretty normal right? No. Ha. I open up my phone for whatever reason, and discover that my banner has been changed to read the phrase "John 3:16". Immediately, I very dramatically demand Nicole to look it up. And of course, its some random pslam about "he whom believes in Me will have an eternal life" etc. So I ask Nicole if she did this, and she said no. I still had my doubts, until my mom texted me a picture of a cross she found in the backyard. I was quite....confunded I suppose. Now, me being gullible and interested in whatever the "divine intervention" situation was, I continued to wonder, "What if this really is a sign?". or "What's really so bad about believing in God?". And to be honest...I couldn't come up with a single correct answer :D

That's why I've decided to become a devout Catholic and renounce all of my so called sins and demonic thoughts.




>_>


Ha. Yeah not really. I will however, being going back to my U.U church in the fall for lack of spirtuality in my life.


So the morale of this blog is never, EVER trust Nicole and have an open mind about religion.



Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Its been a long time.

I cannot believe my last post was in like...April. That's ridiculous. So, where to start. I haven't been writing nearly as much lately (sadly), simply because I haven't been allowing myself to stress over other people anymore. And to be quite honest, its refreshing to say the least. I have now started going to a therapist (yay me) for all of the drama from my first two years of high school. I've been growing closer to some people, and growing apart from some others. Its basically an everyday story, to tell you the truth. I am so tempted to go through all of these blogs and delete them as time goes by, simply so then I don't have to look at it anymore. It can be said that I'm attempting not to live in the past. Unfortunately, that is simply not too. I wallow in past situations, and I think its mostly because we all do and for me, especially, I want to figure out how I can change all these years of damage and hate into something worth living, something beautiful. So, by watching the past go by over and over in the small, empty cinema inside my head, I can regain some idea of how to survive on this planet of wonder.

I have to go back up to the surface where I can breath, however. I am off to the beach with Robin and Christine :D

Thinking of how to word this.

I'm so exhausted. Its quite ridiculous actually.

I don't know what to post.

I have so much shit I want to say, but I don't know how to say it.

*sigh*

Stress

Everybody seems to just have tons of stress these days. I don't know why people choose to inflict it onto themselves or others. But they do it. I keep having these irrational dreams where its something that would've been normal a few months ago. But now...its driving me up a wall. I cannot tolerate this silence anymore. So if everyone else is going to suffer or cry in silence, I'll be the one to stand up.

Even though you don't read my blog anymore...I'm sorry. Okay? I never meant to hurt you the way I did...but you have to understand where I'm coming from and how hurt I am. You did tell me that it would suck for you. But you promised me that we'd be friends, you sent me countless messages declaring how you needed me somewhere in your life and now...you just threw it all away. I understand why you're so mad...but is that a reason to lose everything we had? All the laughs? I'm not saying "Let's be best friends again and go everywhere together and blah blah blah" No. I'm saying lets be on civil terms so then we don't have this extreme hatred of the other. So I'm not afraid to go near you when we're in public or if at a chorus concert I want to talk to the same people you're talking to. But no. I cannot do that because of this problem. Its getting crazy.

I have to go.

And when you left you kissed my lips.

Its been forever since I've posted anything (Much like everyone else it seems)
I'm mostly excited about going to Pennsylvania tomorrow night with mi madre. Its a break that both of us seriously need, want, and deserve.

Lily had surgury on her eyes today to remove a glacoma (spelling?) so then she doesn't become blind. I cannot even begin to imagine what that could be like. Never knowing what color is your favorite, never seeing how beautiful your children are, never seeing the beauty anywhere. Its frightening to me. I complain about having -250 vision when Lily could have none at all.

I've been praying more and more often. I think I'm attempting to find some kind of something out there that I can believe in and really depend on.

I should be dragging up suitcases from my basement...maybe I'll go do that.

Its nearly Valentine's Day.

:]

Push me.

I'm exhausted.
And self loathing.
For many reasons.
LOLNOTSAYINGTHEM.

>___>
<______<

This water has never tasted so good.

So Joss came out and told her fwiend Quinnie about it. Now Joss is going to regret it. I THINK. But we'll have to see how the story plays out. I however don't think Joss is going to tell Minnie, cause that will RUIN everything.