See to this some higher plan.

I hate the chorus' new songs.
Except for Flander's Fields.

Every line stabbing me in a different spot...
I could feel myself shaking...
I thought I was going to cry, throw up, and kill someone all at the same time.
Even during Buttercup for Christ's sake...
Why can't we sing some ridiculous song nobody has ever heard of?
No.
Instead let's sing Lynn song's that are going to make her palms sweat and not be able to look anyone in the eye.

Sounds like a cool idea.

I cannot do drama next year. Legit. Its like...its SO much fun and I really love it...but...I'm not...willing to work that hard for a small gain. And plus, Lily will be a bit older and demand more attention. Speaking of her, she's coming over tomorrow and I get to babysit. Thank god. I mean, Nan will own my soul from 2:30ish to 5:30ish...but then I get to go play with Lily. Holding a baby is the most calming experince in the entire world. To have this little helpless, bundle of joy just laying in your arms. Not thinking of anything, except when they aren't eating, they want to sleep. She is so adorable and one of the only things keeping me thinking straight right now.

I think that right now I'm just a giant ball of confusion. I just would like to sleep for a few days...or a year...

Then wake up to find that my life was going swimmingly once I had someone else run it.
Its funny I guess. I spend my whole life longing for freedom and I just want to be...selfish. Just once... But then I try and I end up feeling like shit.

Isn't that a bit messed up?