How generous can a person be? The answer is alot. How generous can I be? The answer is too much. I want everything to work out, I truly do. And I know nobody is asking for me to giftwrap something and throw it at them. But you know what? That is how I feel. Life right now isn't going well. I want to lie and say "EVERYTHING'S FINE AND NORMAL AND NOTHING HAS FUCKING CHANGED". But I cannot do that. I'm sorry. I want to find a solution to this problem. And I feel as though I cannot find a solution until everything is honest in the world.
But that won't happen will it?
I love people too much to see this happen. Honestly. You know who you are, even if you don't read this....you know how deeply I care for you. Its ridiculous how much I love you. I cannot watch you make yourself suffer. Okay? You have got to know that. I watch you and it scares me because there is something wrong with you. Someone who I would take a bullet for. Someone who I would do anything for.
I say I'd do anything....but why am I having so much trouble doing this? And yes, honesty is indeed the best policy.....especially when it comes to this. I want you to know that nobody is mad and everyone loves you. But I feel that you need to be honest with people. I do. I know that emotions are running high and you've been bottling them for months and months. I'm proud to know that you're allowing yourself emotions to get out there in the open. I'm proud to have you as a best friend.
I need to go shower. I doubt I will...I might just sit here and cry a bit.
I love you both so much...
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